I Confess....

I can't color within the lines. I don't know how!! I have ADD. Right now, I can't focus and I think I've figured out why that is.  I. Don't. Like. Feeling. Boxed. In. Man, I've tried. I really have, but I've come to the conclusion that I just can not do it. It's too inhibiting and it makes me crazy.

There! I've released it! You must be wondering what the hell I'm talking about. I'm talking about many things ... of course!!

First off, I am supposed to be working. I am physically in my office. Up to about a moment ago, my fingers were flying over the numeric keyboard calculating what was owed by my clients while I simultaneously compiled a list of names of people I need to call in order to collect outstanding invoices in anticipation of my firm's fiscal year end.  However, my mind keeps wandering. I'm antsy and if I didn't know any better, I would accuse one of my characters of demonically possesing me!

I've learned something new about myself though  I just CAN NOT focus on mundane things; particularly when I am in the middle of creating a story.  I had this very same experience when I was writing Sinner's Ride. I was up at 4 a.m. this morning writing down notes for an hour and a half, then went back to bed and fell asleep.  I woke up again at 7 a.m. -- late!!! So, now I had to skip breakfast and rush to work only to be almost a half hour late because of a train delay.  At lunchtime, I ran around in the hot, sticky, muggy streets of NYC to gather up the last few items I promised my daughter I would get for my grandson for his first day of school tomorrow.  And now, with just an hour and 15 minutes left to my work day, I've just received the latest batch of invoices to send out to clients.  Ask me if I care enough to get them out? I'll do it first thing tomorrow....  Procrastination has set in.

This situation is so bad, that now, my working title for this story, "Standing on the Precipice" no longer fits and the cover I envisioned will not do!  Yes, I did plot it, but even with all the work I put into plotting this story, it has evolved so much so that the original plot barely resembles anything like the direction this story is taking.  I plan to continue to refer to this story as "Standing on the Precipice" but I am 99.9% certain that this story will be titled differently when it is published. 

This is what I am doing with this story:  I write a chapter, then I sleep on it.  The next day, I will go back to it and edit it, then write the next chapter and walk away from that.  A day later, I will revisit it and re-read the whole thing and then edit whatever needs editing.  When I went back to my current WIP after the second chapter, I ended up writing and inserting a new first chapter and got all worked up again. 

Then, when I wrote the third chapter, I chucked it after sleeping on it and started it anew.  Though I am much happier with what I have so far, this is how the story morphed into something else completely!  I'm not going to fight it any more.  I've never been good at conventionality. I have always been a non-conformist, so, I'm just going to go with the flow and let the story write itself!

The problem with writing in this manner is that when I take a break, I will often come up with ideas for new stories borne of conversations with people or documentaries (I love documentaries!) that I may watch.  Sometimes, even something silly and mundane might happen and it will inspire a new story.  As a matter of fact, I've got this idea for a story. It came to me when I wondered about something while watching a documentary on TLC about dinosaurs......

The interesting thing about this new me is that it makes me think crazy thoughts.  About a week ago, I was talking with a friend and I told him that I was afraid of drying up.  He made a face and said:  "Woman!  You're not going to dry up!  Your mind is always going!"  I looked at him and seeing as he was convinced of what he was saying, I was convinced as well!  Nah!  I won't dry up!  That's just not going to happen!  LOL!!

Hmmmm.....about that idea; the one about the dinosaurs?  What if.........

~~ML