The Romance Reviews

The Romance Reviews

Friday, November 4, 2011

Lesson Learned

I believe everybody is lucky to have a loved one, be it a human being or a pet, and/or a belief system or a creation that they would defend as long as they have breath in them. I'm one of those lucky people.

Over the last year, and particularly in the last few months, an invaluable lesson I thought I learned years ago has manifested itself in such a manner as to remind me once again not to forget it. The lesson being that things, and sadly very often people, aren't always as they present themselves to be.

As authors, our writings are akin to our children. With regard to Sinner's Ride, I have heard such hurtful things as "It's not going to be a hit, but it's a good story" or "I have a lot of respect for you, but this is not the gospel of Jesus Christ" and "It's a bit raunchy" (that last comment coming from someone who is in the midst of an affair with a married person, saying it with a scrunched up face as though something smelled bad).

All of the above coming from "friends". One of the above comments came on my facebook page that I deleted in an emotional fog followed by an angry email. That person is Christian and I am not. There are three things I do not get into debates about: Religion, Money and Politics. I can appreciate that everyone has strong beliefs and opinions as is their right, but so do I.

Sexual abuse, and any kind of abuse against any living being is no joke people. If it takes a "raunchy" story that is "not a hit, but a good read" or "not gospel-like" to get this issue to the forefront of people's minds, then I'm ok with being the face of this ugly monster.

After sleeping on this, I had the following epiphany:

This issue has riled up these people. Good, bad or indifferent Sinner's Ride has stirred some emotions. So what if it doesn't conform to your sensitivities? I've got you emotionally invested, and that is a good thing. Maybe it will move you to take a look around you; open your eyes to the ugliness we often encounter in this life. To all of you who have made these comments I say: "Now what? You've got your say. What are you going to do about it?"

Bottom line: you can not please all of the people all of the time. I don't have a problem being controversial. I will continue to write and I will continue to stir things up by bringing such controversial issues to the forefront; issues that should no longer be swept under the rug. My father used to say:  "You can't spit at the sky and expect to not get some on your face!"

I apologize to my Christian friend for reacting emotionally, but I refuse to apologize for what I believe in.



  1. I'll admit I have yet to read your book. But, you can let those haters know they've inspired me to check it out. Next time people have something to say, just remember...all publicity is good publicity. A bad review is still a review by someone who's bought your book.

    Oh, and I'm a Christian; not just a Christian but the granddaughter of a Souther Baptist preacher, and I'm not easily offended. God made our bodies, and created sex for our enjoyment. Therefore, it can't be wrong. Cuz, God don't make mistakes!!!!

  2. Thank you CL for your comments and your support. I agree with you and am over it. I do, however, regret deleting the comment from my facebook, because you are absolutely right. I wanted to stir people up and obviously, I've succeeded.

    I hope you do get a chance to read "Sinner's Ride" and I would be happy to hear your thoughts on this story ... positive or negative :)

  3. I enjoyed your blog post and am now following you on here and Twitter. I don't know what the story is about, but as a new author myself, I am looking to do the same with my story. I'm not writing 'traditional' stories that people expect to see or read. I am going outside the box and that's what is sounds like you are doing. When my book is published, I have no idea what type of feedback it will receive, but personally, I don't care. For a person to have something negative to say, it means that they had to read it first. People often think their negativity will deter you from pursuing your dream. Not always the case, sometimes it can be what it takes to catapult your career. Publicity, if used wisely, can be a good thing! I will look into your story, because like the commenter above, I'm now interested! Good luck with your writing!

  4. Hi M.J.,

    Thank you for your comments. Rest assured my friend, it will take a lot more than a few negative comments to deter me! I WAS stunned because I thought these people were friends. Two did indeed read the story -- one of those two was there all along -- I doubt the third read the story; I think they only read Amazon's excerpt of the first chapter which is extremely graphic. That person just re-entered my life out of the blue after being absent for a few years.

    But, it is what it is, as my daughter would say! LOL! The controversy only fuels my desire to continue on this path as I truly believe this is the path I was meant to walk on!

    If you do happen to pick up Sinner's Ride, I would love to hear your take on it!

    Congrats on your story! Much success to you!

  5. I have only today come to know about you and your writing. Already I love who you are. Strong person with ginormous heart. Speak 4 the silent and give them voice. Thank you -Cep

  6. Thanks Cep! We've already communicated and you know how I feel about you!

    Stay strong!

  7. I enjoyed your blog because you're real. I appreciated those who are willing to examine themselves as well as others. What good fun it would be to sit down and have coffee together and talk about life. And I do believe with all my heart - real people write real books and there are plenty of people hungry for that reality. My best to you.

  8. Christina,

    How sweet of you! To me it is only through self examination that you can grow.

    Thank you so much for your kind words!

  9. Just remember this my friend:
    "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!"

    I do love your blog!

  10. You're absolutely right Nancy! Thank you~