Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving is a time for reflection. Sometimes in life you just have to stop, inhale deeply then, look around and count your blessings.

2013 has been pretty tough for me but I've also had many successes thus far. There's been a lot of change, a lot of turmoil and a lot of uncertainty in my life this year.  I let all that go today to focus on what's positive.

I spent the day with my daughter and her family. My Prince is embarking on a new phase in his life as today was his birthday. My nephew who I raised from a little boy has a family of his own. It's very gratifying to see the changes in their lives. It's nice to see your children build their own lives, start new traditions forcing you to look at them differently.

I watched my daughter today host a feast for fifteen people including myself, her in-laws, her "little brother," his family, her childhood friend and her boyfriend, my sister and my brother-in-law. When I think back to when my daughter and nephew were little kids fighting the way siblings do, I never would have imagined a day like today.

The chatter.

The laughter.

The games.

There was complete and utter joy. Three generations of MY family; people that came from ME. I am a matriarch.

Today I am thankful for that and more. I am blessed to have the friends I have, for the good things in my life, and above all, I am grateful for my health; my ability to live independently. I am thankful for the opportunities afforded me -- ones I never would have imagined in a million years coming my way.

Days like this especially, I miss my Dad. I miss my Mom -- the woman she used to be. Nothing could replace the memories I have of the life I had with my parents. But, today, I've been blessed to oversee my own branch of this family --- my family.

Thank you Joseph Sultana and All Media Radio for the faith and support you have shown me. Thank you to my station colleague and friend, Scott Samain for your support and kindness.

Thank you Edward Medina for the love you have shown me.

Thank you to my readers, my Twitter and Facebook followers. I am nothing without you all.

Thank you to my Pink Diamond Inspirations -- Kevin Swarbrick, Johanna Pitcairn, James L. Rubart, Montgomery Granger, Robbi Sommers Bryant, M.J. Kane, Carmen DeSousa.

I owe you lovely souls so much. So many of you inspire me. This post does not adequately express my deep and abiding gratitude to you all. I know I left people out and I apologize. You are all blessings in my life.

So often we are quick to point out and dwell on the negative. I have been guilty of that, but the fact of the matter is that I would not be able to do what I love without you all. You all keep me bouyed.

You are all inspirations for me.

Thank you!

Happy Thanksgiving!

~~ML

I Don't Believe in Coincidence

Have you ever met someone and instantly loved them ... or hated them; or vice versa? If so, have you ever wondered why?

This has happened to me. Sometimes it's just nice for me to meet them. Sometimes it's not so nice -- there are no fuzzy feelings on either side when it's not so nice. Sometimes the not-so-nice-feelings emanating from that other person make me uncomfortable; sometimes they make me defiant and I decide not to go anywhere until we get it straightened out. 

I think this is all part of the message in that famous poem "A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime" that is so widely quoted. If you've never read it, watch the video below.

In my day job, I am always on the phone with clients. Some love me; some merely tolerate me. That's fine by me. 

In my personal life, I don't have any trouble starting conversations with random people. Hell, I'd talk to a tree if I thought it would talk back to me! And, every once in a while, some of those random conversations plant the seed for new friendships.

In my media life, I regularly talk with experts when doing research for whatever novel I'm working on and I'm conducting interviews all the time for my radio show. All of this I love doing because I am naturally curious about the human experience.

But it is rare for me to meet anyone who so moves me as to blog about it. This is one of those rare occasions. So, why? What is it about this/these person/people that's got me so charged? 

Well, here's the thing:

In this new era of virtual relationships/friendships, it is easy to hide behind a keyboard and create a persona; an image that will be appealing to an audience. Like I said, I like to meet people, but oftentimes, when I meet someone in real life after a virtual friendship, I am disappointed in what the reality is.

Yesterday was different.

For several years, I've had an ongoing virtual friendship with fellow Indie Author and NuYorican Edward Medina (click on his name for his FB page). Most recently we'd exchanged emails after the release of his short story AWILDA. He'd just released it, I'd just downloaded it and I wanted him on my Pink Diamond Inspirations Radio Show with All Media Radio. He agreed and said he was in the midst of moving back to NY from Florida and that we should plan on doing this interview in person once he arrived. 

Cool! I responded. But, honestly, I was a little bit concerned. I mean, I don't know this guy from a hole in the wall. Hello? Has anyone heard of catfish?? LOL!! Ok, that may be a little bit out there, but I DO write psychological thrillers, so you can't blame me! 

I don't believe in coincidence. Ed and I hit it off on Twitter when I first joined. Little did I know then that we had so much more in common than our heritage, the similarities in our upbringing and, in my case, a little old book -- his books are far from little old books. From the very beginning, I felt a kinship with him. This was a person who appeared to be very much like me. He came from where I came, looked like I did, wrote the way I wrote and he thought the way I did -- to wit, outside the proverbial box.

In any event, Ed, myself and his IT Goddess (I love that he calls her that!), Nate Hinkle met for brunch yesterday in the city. We broke bread, we chatted and drank mimosas. :) We had so much fun though there were moments where I could have cried -- but I sucked it up and kept it together. The bottom line is: I could not be happier to have met them both -- in person -- nor could I have been more inspired to continue on in what is now a multi-media journey that began with my writing.

Edward Medina and I 

Nate "Ed's IT Goddess" Hinkle and I

At one point I realized that I was sharing memories of me and my Dad and I wasn't crying; I was smiling!! Here it is two days before the 12th anniversary of the tragedy that was 9/11/01 and six days before the 8th anniversary of my Dad's passing and I'm not feeling sad even though those two dates have made me feel inconsolable and morose in the past. The fact that I had that realization while hanging out with these two beautiful souls will never be forgotten by me and that alone will be what binds us.

The three of us have founded a beautiful friendship and for me that is so, so important particularly in this day and age when anything can happen at any time. Stay tuned my friends. You're going to be seeing/hearing a lot from me about Mr. Medina and his IT Goddess, Nate :)  (Hover over their names for links to their twitter accounts and follow them!)

In closing, I ask you this: what girl can't use another girlfriend to do girly things with??

~~ML

Life

If you've followed my blog for any amount of time, you might have learned a few things about me. Not the least of which is how sensitive I can be, how I might lose patience and gripe about things I can't change or how nerdy I can be when I learn some seemingly useless (to some people) piece of information.

One thing you might not know is that when I start to feel lost or melancholy, I tend to pull back and go within myself to figure things out, learn things about myself. That's where I've been, and this is what I've learned:

2012 was a very full year for me. I was still high last New Year's Day from the headiness of having released my debut novel eight months earlier. I remember thinking at the time that I couldn't believe I was still in that euphoric state and how long could I do that?  But by May I was planning long delayed orthopedic surgery and my recovery. I thought: "Cool! Yea, I'll be in pain but I'll be off from work for 3 months and I can write!"

I truly envisioned myself writing the whole time I was in recovery. NOT!!!

I was barely able to move during the first two weeks and heavily medicated for 6 weeks. I know there are some writers who write really good work while sipping on a cocktail or two, but I can't. My mind goes blank -- my brains are, literally, mashed potatoes.

My brain on mind-altering drugs

I can almost hear them squishing about in my head. So imagine how worthless I was feeling during those first six precious weeks. Eventually, I was able to finish "Divergent Lives" during that time and a few weeks later, I returned to work as did that dark shadow hanging over me. What a cruel twist to have had the opportunity to get a taste of what life could be, only to have reality smack me on the forehead.

I know. I'm rambling. Bear with me ... I'm getting there.

This week a co-worker/friend died unexpectedly. We used to work together on the same floor but two years ago, my firm's NY office moved and departments were split between two locations. Dion worked at the second location, so except for facebook exchanges I had very little contact with him after the move. He is the second person working out of the second location who passed away in less than a year.This saddens me especially since I don't handle this kind of loss very well. Are you kidding me? I still cry over my father's passing 7 years ago.

That's the way I am.What can I tell you?

In addition, I've not been entirely happy since I returned to work.I am extremely grateful to have a job, particularly since I am my sole source of income. So, please don't chastise me for my feelings. The truth of the matter is that I got a taste of what it would be like to be able to write whenever I felt like it. I got used to not having to rush to go anywhere during rush hour and dealing with the masses. When you work someplace for as long as I have, things might linger until you return, or things might change. My job has changed a bit, I've changed .. a lot .. but life goes on and I've learned to adjust.

I am happiest when I'm creating; writing; talking about creating, and writing some more. In fact, writing this post has lifted my spirits to heights I haven't been in weeks.

I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to openly share my thoughts and feelings without fearing ridicule and looks of confusion someone might have who doesn't get it. Some of you might feel or have felt the same way. To share with people who are like minded makes me feel less alone and grateful to have found my passion.

My friend Dion's passing is testimony to the fact that life is precious and you never know when it's all going to be snatched away. All the more reason to follow your bliss. Writing is mine.

~~ML

The End of 2012 and a New Beginning: 2013

2012 was a very full and interesting year for me.

I connected with new people who will forever be a part of my life. I re-connected with some who I'd been out of touch with and ended ties with others. The one constant factor here is that everyone I've encountered in my life this year has left an indelible mark on me ... good, bad or indifferent -- that mark is there and will always be.

I had major surgery -- knee replacement -- that also left a mark on me -- not to mention a prosthetic :)

I realized that my baby boy, Dayne, is on his way to becoming a young man -- I mean, really? Where did the time go?? He's looking at Junior High Schools!! That's left a mark on me. Aging sucks man!

I released my second novel "Divergent Lives" and received four five-star reviews within the first two weeks of its release! This has left a huge mark on me. I am not only extremely grateful, but extremely humbled -- and desirous to get back to writing my urban fantasy series in order to keep my readers not only hooked, but also, hopefully, yearning for more.

As I sit here reviewing the past year, I feel like crying; crying from joy; relief and a little bit of frustration.

I am relieved because my surgery was successful and the pain I had been in over the last few years has lessened. I still need to go back and get my other knee done, but for now, I'm hoping to soon remember what it was like to climb the stairs without pain.

I am joyous because I was able to finish Divergent Lives in a flash after I was taken off medication. I am joyous because I met someone who I would eventually pass it on to -- someone who shared my vision; someone who would enjoy the process of editing it because she is just like me. Admit it, Andi -- we're cut from the same cloth :)

I am frustrated because I wish I had the means to dedicate myself to all things involved with writing and marketing/promoting my works full time. I am frustrated because as much as I would like to engage my readers on a more regular, extended basis, I can not do that. My day job, though I am grateful for that as well, demands attention during normal business hours --- and -- I have a mortgage....

I hold on to the positive experiences I've had this year and I recognize that I am truly blessed. So many people are not afforded the opportunities I have been lucky to have.

It is customary to make resolutions this time of year in the hopes that by keeping them, the person making them can be a better model of themselves a year later. Oftentimes, those resolutions aren't kept. I say, make resolutions every day. It's difficult to list all the things you want for a new year and attain all those things within a 12 month period. Why not pick one thing; one big thing and strive for achieving that in the coming year.

Placing all your focus and efforts on just one thing can open doors you never dreamed were open to you.

This year I will re-focus on putting, having and keeping faith in myself. I will remain steadfast in my determination to attain my dream even if it takes longer than 12 months.

Think about that.

To you, my readers, fans, friends, colleagues: May the year 2013 bring you much love, excellent health, joyous days and strength within yourselves to manifest the success you are worthy of!

Until then....

Happy New Year!

~~ML

Guest Post: A Lesson in Submission by Katie Salidas

Ms. Katie Salidas

For me, writing is a powerful thing. I am the creator of a world and people that until that point had never existed. I rule over this world with a mighty pen and control the fate of the creations within the pages. But, along with great power comes great responsibility. It’s not enough to play god. I have to develop a story that is not only worthy of being read, but also able to be read (published). That often feels like a daunting task. Roadblocks of writer’s block and time constraints often have me feeling frantic that a story will never see itself to completion.

Even with the stress involved, the power of being “the creator” is nice little perk. I often find myself falling in love with the world I’ve created and using it as my escape from the everyday stresses in real life.

That escape element makes writing an intensely personal endeavor. The world I create is my world. It belongs to no one else. I spend a lot of time and energy in developing that vision as I work my world into a readable and enjoyable story. In that world, I grow my characters from seeds of inspiration, and watch them develop into actual entities. Their thoughts and feelings, their lives, their interactions -- they all become real within the confines of that world.

Because of this intensely personal nature, Writing is not a craft that often lends itself to collaboration. Collaboration means giving up control, it means letting someone into my world and trusting that they will not abuse their power while in it.

In that respect, choosing to work with a partner is a lesson in Submission.

It’s not always an easy lesson. This world I’ve created is personal. It’s an extension of myself. Letting someone in is a deeply intimate act.  Once inside, they will have the ability to manage and manipulate my characters. They can do so much damage.

Just as the Dom/Sub relationship relies on trust and faith, so too does the co-authoring partnership. You have to trust that the partner you are working with has a vision and goals that match your own. That both of you, no matter how you might differ on opinions, are working toward the best story possible.

It’s never easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it.

I’ve never been one to relinquish control of anything. I’m more than OCD in my writing. I don’t like having to listen to others opinions. I don’t like people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do with my characters.

Much like our character, Natasha, I like to control it all. And much like Natasha, I find myself feeling heartburn and stressed out over stories that I can’t seem to see to fruition.

But, as I have learned, there are some benefits to letting go of some control.

Writer’s block, being one of the biggest road blocks becomes much smaller an obstacle when there are two writers battling against it. When stalled on a story and I simply cannot find the solution, I’ve learned that if I let go of that control, that need to make this story 100% mine, and to trust in my writing partner, the answers become clear. Sometimes he might have the answer and next step in the vision, and sometimes, just through chatting about the story, the solution presents itself.

Does it always work smoothly, no, but having a partner I can trust, and letting go and trusting him has proven itself to be very beneficial. And at this point, we’ve put out three and we’re working on number four with many more stories to come.

Submission Therapy releases today!!

Billionaire CEO of Blakely Incorporated, Natasha runs her empire with an eagle eye for every detail. She’s an obsessive, compulsive, micromanaging hard-ass, consumed by the need to control every aspect of her life and her business.

But underneath that seemingly strong façade, Natasha is a swirling mess of anger, anxiety and sexual addiction. Only her therapist, Dr. Benson, knows how close she is to burning out...or exploding. He insists on a radical form of treatment – Submission Therapy – knowing that it’s her only hope.

Skeptical but intrigued, Natasha agrees to attend the first session. What she finds there is an erotically-charged environment that will forgive none of her habitual bad behavior. And a steely-eyed man who seems to read her every desire - even the ones she won’t admit to herself.

Will Natasha learn what it means to submit? Or will she allow her brittle pride to rob her of what she truly needs?

***

Hello Readers! Sinner here!

Did Katie's post whet your appetite?  If so, here are some buy links for this wonderful story!

Amazon

Amazon UK

All Romance Ebooks

Smashwords

Excessica

And here are the many ways in which you can reach Katie!

Katie's Website

Katie on Facebook

Katie on LinkedIn (You must sign in to connect with Katie)

http://twitter.com/QuixoticKatie

Until next time my friends, this is Sinner...signing off....



Spotlight on Willsin Rowe and Katie Salidas

Today we shine the spotlight on Willsin Rowe and Katie Salidas, co-authors of Submission Therapy which releases tomorrow!!

Ms. Katie Salidas

It is a well known fact that I love Katie and that I read every word she writes, so it's not unusual that I would also read this new release Submission Therapy.

Submission Therapy is the story about Natasha, CEO of Blakely Incorporated, hard assed, compulsive control freak who is a hot mess underneath it all. Her therapist, Derek Benson, insists she participate in a non-traditional form of treatment after little success with conventional therapy. She is to give up all control and submit to the desires of "Master Sweet."

The story is a quick but attention grabbing read that serves as a great introduction into the world of Dominance/Submission and pain turning into pleasure. You get a good sense early on as to who Natasha vs her therapist, Dr. Benson shown by her impatience and irreverence toward him,.

When Master Sweet's identity was revealed I was surprised, but it made sense perfect sense and I look forward to more from this dynamic duo! 

To whet your appetites, here is an excerpt from Submission Therapy:

Submission Therapy

EXCERPT:

© November 2012 by Willsin Rowe and Katie Salidas

“If your spirit is the equal of your body...” He ran his fingers across my shoulders and down the gully of my spine. “...then it will be a rare pleasure breaking you in.”

Despite my initial apprehension, his words and his touch sent a thrill through me.

He moved from behind me and my back suddenly felt cold. I watched his muscular form as he prowled to the chair, and admired his grace as he mounted it.

“Bind her. Bring her to me.”

Chloe appeared beside me with a length of smooth rope in her hands. My instincts cried out to run, to fight, but I bit down on them. I could see where this was heading and…and I wasn’t sure I hated it.

With practiced efficiency, Chloe had my wrists secured in under a minute. She led me over to Master Sweet and handed him the loose end of rope.

“Slave, lay across my lap.”

I couldn’t help it. I hesitated. This was so new to me. He curled the rope around his wrist and pulled steadily, with a strength I couldn’t resist. With Chloe’s help he had me prone across his lap, my bare ass angled out and vulnerable. My heartbeat sped with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty. Even though there was something so degrading about being put over someone’s lap, there was a part of me that found it...invigorating. I wasn’t about to let him know I felt that way, though. I held my tongue and watched blankly as Chloe worked, binding me in place.

She took the rope and fed it through the eyelet at the base of the chair, leading it underneath and through a matching eyelet on the other side. She walked around and crouched behind me. From my angle I could only see her hands taking the rope, but I could sense her body heat on the backs of my thighs, feel her breath tickling across my ass…and everywhere else. I wondered if she was there to do more than just tie knots.

The rope’s firm grip around my right knee took me out of that reverie. I watched as Chloe fed the rope back through the loop and then around my left knee. I understood the chair’s construction much better now. Looped around it, with Master Sweet’s strong legs as a cushion, I had nowhere to go. Intriguingly, there was still enough slack in the rope that I could spread my knees apart.

“Look in the mirror.”

I raised my head and stared. I barely recognized myself. In the low light, my black hair almost blended with the room. I could see enough to know it was a mess, though.

He slipped his hand onto my ass and rested it there, soft, unmoving. The deceptively light touch sent chills rippling across my body.

“You’ve earned a spanking for your disobedience. You will watch as your punishment is delivered, and you will count the strokes.”

My breath hitched in my chest. Spanking. I hadn’t had one of those since I was a little girl. So demeaning, and yet the thought of it sent heat rushing between my thighs. There was a part of me that longed for it. In a world where I constantly had to think at least six to twelve months ahead, a consequence that was both immediate and tangible somehow felt like a luxury.

He raised his hand, cocked it like a gun. I followed the movement instinctively, admiring the pure power of it, knowing full well that its force was about to come crashing down on me.

“No. Look into your own eyes.”

I did as instructed. My mouth hung open as I tried to catch my breath, which had begun racing. I clenched my muscles and squeezed my thighs together, waiting for what came next.

The blow, when it landed, cracked like a pistol shot. For the slightest instant all I felt was the jolt through my body. My vision blurred with the impact. Then the sting bloomed on my ass and began to tingle. I watched my own mouth stretch, listened as my breath hissed in. I would not cry out.

“Count it!” he demanded.

And here are bios for our authors:

Katie Salidas

Katie Salidas is a Super Woman! Endowed with special powers and abilities, beyond those of mortal women, She can get the munchkins off to gymnastics, cheerleading, Girl Scouts, and swim lessons.  She can put hot food on the table for dinner while assisting with homework, baths, and bedtime… And, She still finds the time to keep the hubby happy (nudge nudge wink wink). She can do all of this and still have time to write.

And if you can believe all of those lies, there is some beautiful swamp land in Florida for sale…

Katie Salidas resides in Las Vegas, Nevada. Mother, wife, and author, she does try to do it all, often causing sleep deprivation and many nights passed out at the computer. Writing books is her passion, and she hopes that her passion will bring you hours of entertainment.

Contact info for Katie:

Katie's Website

Katie on Facebook

Katie on LinkedIn (You must sign in to see Katie's profile)

Katie on Twitter

Willsin Rowe

Willsin Rowe falls in love with a scent, a playful expression or an act of casual intimacy more easily than with physical beauty.  When confronted by any combination of those elements he is a lost cause.  He has done many things over and over, done even more things only once, and half-done more things than he cares to admit.  He loves to sing and doesn't let his voice get in the way. He is intelligent but not sensible.  He is passionate but fearful. He is not scruffy enough or stylish enough to be cool.

Willsin is also the author of Hunger, The Three Day Hump and Lightning.

Join us tomorrow for a special guest post by Katie Salidas!

~~ML

Let's Never Forget 9/11/01

Today is the eleventh anniversary of the attacks on US soil by cowards who used three planes to kill thousands of innocent people. Every year I write about how clear and beautiful a day it was that day; just as it is today. Every year, I write about how it is a day I will never forget and how I can remember every detail of that day.

I remember the fear I felt that we were being attacked. I remember the desperation I felt not being able to get to where my pregnant daughter was fast enough. I remember the relief I felt when I finally found her in an irish pub a few blocks from her office with her co-workers who had gathered there after their building was evacuated. It was only because I had spotted one of her colleagues that I even went into the pub. I knew he had to know where she was as I approached him, I looked over his shoulder and there she was. She was sitting on a stool with shock on her face and tears in her eyes as she watched the remaining tower crumble on a television screen.

I lost friends that day, one who's mother I worked closely with.

Today, I listened to the roll call as I do every year and as I do every year when that friend, Laura Gilly's name was called, I turned it off. I often think of her but today, I have been thinking of her all day long. I remembered how much fun we had during my first trip to Las Vegas with her mother.

This year, there were no politicians giving speeches. It truly was about those we lost on this date eleven years ago and the heroes that came after. It was a day for remembering and sharing stories of the people we lost, the valiant manner in which first responders worked to pull as many remains as they could from the ashes and who then later helped clear up the debris.

Let's not forget what happened that day; not just the horror but also how we all embraced one another during a time of need with love and compassion.

~~ML

Pink Diamond Interview for August

Sinner has posted her Pink Diamond Interview for August!

Of all the people she could have interviewed, she chose yours truly! That crazy girl!!

Check it out here!

Cada Cabeza Es Un Mundo (Everyone Lives in Their Own World)

I am so excited to share that my cover for Divergent Lives has been completed!! To celebrate, I've created a new blog by the same name. Visit here often and post comments!

Andi Reis and Renee Groskreutz of Ralph's Design and Deli are the geniuses behind this beautiful piece of artwork. Andi in particular, has been my sounding board. After a few email exchanges,  and I believe just one phone conversation, she was instantly able to translate my vision for this book's cover into what you see before you. Two minor tweaks was all it took to get to this! What do you say about that!

Everyone knows that my Dad was my hero. I am well aware that when a loved one dies, the people closest to that person; the ones who admired that person, tend to sanctify the deceased. So what? To me he was a saint; a saint who sinned, but one who also made amends the best way he knew how.

This is the way I see it and I call it the way I see it.

All in my family knew I was of the sensitive sort. My father was the first to tease me about that, but he never made me feel "less than" because of my sensitivity. The other thing my father recognized in me was that I inherently understood metaphors. He would often use idioms in conversation but when he used them in conversations with me, they were very often sprinkled with these very insightful and colorful metaphors.

My favorite was: "Cada cabeza es un mundo" which loosely translated means "Everyone lives in their own world." This was something that always resonated with me. As one with a very vivid imagination, even as a child, I lived in my own world; sometimes even in various worlds -- all of my own creation -- and sometimes at the same time. Kinda schizophrenic, I know. But, now I get to share them with all of you, warts and all!

As I continue on this path, there are a multitude of characters in future projects that you will be meeting. Most of these characters come from different aspects I've taken from personalities of people I have met in my life. Therefore, some are heroic, some not so much; some are smart, some not so much and some are sane, some -- needless to say -- not so much! However, they are all very interesting to me. I hope you agree.

Hang in there folks! This is going to be fun!!

~~ML

What Writing Means to Me

Friday morning, June 29th, I awoke to Sinner's virtual poke in my ribs:

"Woman!! Wake up! It's Pink Diamond Interview day! You don't plan on sleeping the whole day away, do you? Plus, you have to go to work today! C'mon!!!"

I was extremely tired. It had been an unusually stressful week. I tried, in earnest, to remain positive amid obstacles in the face of a life changing event. But I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and dragged myself to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. I wished I could have my caffeine intravenously.

When I finally sat at my computer to post Sinner's Pink Diamond Interview of Joseph V. Sultana (http://goo.gl/EhE93), I realized how much I loved writing as an Indie Author in particular and writing overall. I love all that this new career path encompasses. It's pretty awesome!

You see, I began working as a Candy Striper when I was 14 years old. Granted, until I was about 20 years old, all of my work experience consisted of part-time jobs in various fields. However, except for one year after my daughter was born, I have been lucky enough to work consistently, full time, as a secretary - for the better part of 35 years - in industries that run the gamut from advertising to hospitality and ending in the legal field. But I don't see those years as time spent building a "career."

I had kids and bills to pay, so I followed the money; or as today's youth would say: "I chased the cheddar." Quite frankly, I never really, truly enjoyed what I did. I mean, some of the people I've worked for have been really nice and my current boss stands above them all; but, some have not been so nice.

At this point in my life, I am just plain tired. I had been living my life by rote; just making sure to meet my responsibilities. I thought I would rest when I retired. Now, being so close to "retirement," I don't want to waste any time resting! I'll rest when I die!

Recently, I became a client of Ralph's Design and Deli. While discussing services with Andi Reis in an email exchange, I stated that I only really just wanted to write. I admitted that I hadn't really spent a lot of time thinking about marketing and promoting and all that stuff! Yes, that is true, but as a "Type A" personality, I need to know what's going on. I need to be able to express what I want and get it done. And that is exactly what I get from Andi so that I CAN write. Absolutely LOVE that girl!!

So, what does writing mean to me?

First, I'll tell you what it is not. Writing is NOT work for me.

It is a way for me to escape from daily stressors. Writing calms my nerves; it quiets the voices in my head and though this may sound crazy, it regulates my ADD. When I'm thinking about a current WIP or potential projects, though the thoughts are darting about in my head like shooting stars, there is no turmoil.

I'm at peace. I don't think I've ever been happier in my life than I have been since I began writing.

~~ML

Happy Father's Day - 6/17/12

I woke up this morning to a text from my daughter wishing me a Happy Father's Day. I, in effect, left her father before she was born, though the legalities would suggest otherwise as my divorce was not official for some months afterward.

Looking back on her childhood, I can honestly say that I wish I had done a better job at raising her. I wish I had been able to provide for her the kind of home life that I was lucky to have. I'm not saying our lives were unstable during those years -- we had a roof over our heads, clothing on our backs and food in our tummy but I sincerely believe that she missed out and I take full responsibility for that.

Those years were hard, but we had a lot of laughs and we did a lot of crying. We also grew up together. Like every parent and child, we have faced some challenges and continue to do so, but I am very proud of the woman she has become. Plus, she gifted me with my little man!

I often mention my Dad. The pain of his loss still lingers. Someone once put it very simply to me. He said:

"This kind of pain is like arthritis. Sometimes you have good days; and sometimes you have bad days. You've just got to keep going. He wouldn't have it any other way."

He was right.

I think of my Dad every single day. It is now 2,467 days since he's been gone.

He was my daughter's de facto father. I know she too feels his loss. He used to spoil her. The memory that is most vivid in my mind right now is the one of the day he spent shopping with her. One Easter holiday, he took her shopping for an outfit.

He had previously volunteered to drive her around to do that. She must have been about 10 or 11 years old; maybe a little younger. She already had an image in her mind for the outfit she wanted to wear. But, she still had to stop at every single store along their route to see what the pickin's were; only to end up at the first store they had visited. After all of that, my Dad stood beside her as she paid for the first outfit she had laid eyes on in the first store they had stopped in.

My daughter and I often recall that story. We always crack up laughing and I always end up with tears in the corners of my eyes.

Yea. He was Superman alright! I would have been pissed off if she had done that to me and he just supported her in her quest for the perfect outfit. Not a single complaint came out of his mouth to her.

When he later recounted his shopping jaunt to me, his frustration escalated as he told the story. In the end, he just laughed it off, saying:

"Typical woman!"

Since my father's death, I've often thought about how he would feel about my newfound passion for writing. I can only hope he would be proud. While I sit here and type out this post, my heart beats a little faster. I struggle with the sting building up in my nose and the tears that burn in the corner of my eyes now threatening to break through the dam.

All I want is to smell his essence, I want to put on some bright red lipstick. I want to kiss his bald spot. I desperately want to hear his voice again, even if it's just to hear him tell me to "stop doing that shit!" ... those are the words he would use. And, I want to watch him as he shakes his head to and fro in either utter annoyance or total disbelief that I would be so silly.

Finally, I want to make him laugh out loud and I want to give him a bear hug.

Ay Papi! I miss you so much! I don't think I'll ever stop hurting.

To all my friends who are fathers, both men and women, Happy Father's Day!

Enjoy today as it is in your honor. But don't forget the indelible memories you have etched -- and will continue to etch -- in the hearts of those who call you "Father."

~~ML

Andrew Harding Is Our Pink Diamond Interview for May

Hello friends!

Sinner has conducted her Pink Diamond Interview for May. This is an in-depth interview you won't want to miss.  This month, she spends some time with our mutual friend, Mr. Andrew Harding.  Andrew is the author of The Hybrid Series, as well as The Spirit Trilogy. 

Both equally fascinating paranormal stories.

Click here and you'll know what I mean: Andrew Harding - Pink Diamond Interview

Enjoy!

~~ML

Happy Birthday Superman!

My favorite picture of my Dad c. 1948

Today is what would have been your 84th birthday. I can't quite put into words what I'm feeling.

The word "bittersweet" comes to mind as memories flash before my closed eyes. Memories like: 

How awed I was the day you told me you were Superman; how you and I did our homework assignments together -- you with your English lessons, me with my elementary school lessons.

I remember you teaching me how to dance merengue, guaracha, guaguanco and even a bolero. I remember how you kept emphasizing that I needed to let the man lead me in a dance and to stop trying to lead. I have always loved music and you saw that in me as a very young child. Oh, but I LOVED dancing with you! Whenever I hear Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father," I lose all semblance of control and I break down and I do the ugly cry. You know the one -- that's the one where every orifice in my face leaks! 

I should be stronger...  

Bittersweet. Yes, the word aptly describes what I am feeling today.

I vividly remember July 29, 1969, the day man first landed on the moon. I was an innocent 12 year old Daddy's girl. You had a cold. The sun was shining brightly through the living room window and you were sitting at the end of the couch watching history unfold on television. I got up into your lap and laid my head on your chest. I can still smell the Vicks VapoRub Mami had rubbed there. You scolded me saying I should get off; that I would get sick. I wrapped my arms around your neck, breathed in deeply and said I didn't care if I got sick. Then, I set about trying to breathe in tandem with you; get my heart to beat in rhythm with yours as we watched the astronauts stick the American Flag into the surface of the moon.

I remember the summer before I started my second year at Junior High School. I was no longer going to be bussed to school. I had to learn how to travel via public transportation, so you rode the bus with me back and forth that summer making sure that I not only learned the direct route, but that I also learned alternate routes in case there was a problem and had to find another way home. Needless to say, that was before cellphones :)

I remember the first time I got drunk. You were really angry, but you let me sleep it off. As soon as I was up, you sat me down at the kitchen table, set a bottle of Bacardi between us and said: 

"You think you're a man? We will sit here together and drink this bottle. I will show you how it's done." 

And we did just that.  To this day, I can't stand the smell of Bacardi or any rum for that matter!

I remember my first love and how pissed you were at me for how that whole thing went down.

I remember high school graduation. How you beamed when my name was called!

I remember my wedding day and how, as we walked down the aisle I whispered,

"I don't really want to do this."

You said I didn't have to but I couldn't bear the embarrassment I knew you would feel -- or at least thought you would feel -- if I didn't go through with it. Needless to say, the only good thing that came out of that marriage was my daughter, Mari.

I remember you polishing my toe nails because I couldn't bend over to reach them as I was so swollen with pregnancy. You did it lovingly because I asked you to, promising to buy me a car if I had a boy.

I will never forget your face when you first laid eyes on a newborn, chinky-eyed Mari. You immediately began calling her your "Little Ms. Piggy." I didn't get the car, but you gave Mari the down payment for her first car. By the time she was ready to buy a car, she had given birth to a boy. So, in essence, you did, indeed buy one of your female descendants a car after she had birthed a son -- even though she paid you back  :) 

And the list of memories goes on. As I got older, we bonded on a different level. You were always the one I went to when I had man troubles. I would start those conversations with: "Papi, as a man, can you please explain to me why.....?"

You would smile and you'd say, 

"You have time?"

That line still brings a smile to my face to this day.

As I write this, I realize how lucky I was to have had you in my life for as long as I did. I have 48 years of wonderful memories. I miss you so much. I miss our chats, our debates; how you always challenged me to learn something new -- everyday.

You were not only a father to me and my brothers and sister, but you were a father to my daughter. She misses you probably as much, if not more, than I do. Dayne, your great-grandson, still talks about you. He calls me "crybaby" when he and I talk about you and I tear up. I can't help it. 

In a weird way, I want him to know that I am not Superwoman. I want him to know that I am human and that I have vulnerabilities and faults so that it doesn't hurt so much for him when I'm gone. But I also think that if he has just half the love for me as I do for you, then, I don't know...

I already feel badly for him and Mari. You have no idea the impact you had on so many lives.

I love you Papi. I still want to pick up the phone to call you and ask:

"Papi, as a man, can you tell me why.....?"

Papi in his later years

Happy Birthday Superman ;'(

~~ML

Katie Salidas -- Guest Blogger

Hello!  Today's guest blogger is Katie Salidas.

According to Katie, "Vampires can often be more human than you think."

Before you go to her post, our giveaway celebration is still ongoing. Read Katie's post then answer the following question in the comments section:

What does Katie consider as the biggest payoff regarding writing about vampires?

After you've answered the question in the comments section, send an email to me at lahongrais@gmail.com letting me know that you've left a comment. The first five people to do that and answer the question correctly, will win a copy of "Sinner's Ride" in the format of their choice.

So, don't waste any more time. To read Katie's post, go here ---> Katie Salidas - Guest Post
Happy reading!!

~~ Sinner

It's My Anniversary and Katie Salidas is my Pink Diamond Interview!!

I remember it as if it were yesterday! It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon one year ago today. The breeze was blowing and the sun was shining high in the sky. I was downtown with a friend and there was street fair taking place along Third Avenue. We walked a bit then over to Lexington Avenue toward the train station and we got on. She got off at her stop; I continued on.

Two stations from mine, my blackberry buzzed.  I checked to see who it was and found an email from Xlibris advising me that "Sinner's Ride" had just released. I wished I wasn't on the train; I wanted to scream and holler and dance around on my bad knees in excitement. But you know, I was on a train in NYC where nutty people are all around.  I thought it best to keep my cool :)

It has been an absolutely wonderful year for me and I want to thank all who read my blog posts; those who exchanged witty comments with me on Twitter and Facebook and those who put up with me when I thought I wasn't good enough. Your love and support is what keeps me going. It is for you that I strive to continually improve on my craft and provide you with stories that will keep you coming back for more!!

To show my appreciation, particularly to the woman who started it all for me, I am honored to have Katie Salidas as my Pink Diamond Interview this month in celebration of  "Sinner's Ride" and the new lease on life she has given me!

Click here for the interview:  Katie Salidas Pink Diamond Interview

~~ML

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

Writing, like almost everything in life is very much like eating an elephant. Everybody has problems. Everybody tackles those problems differently. Most people will take a problem apart and deal with each of its aspects individually until that problem is either solved or a happy medium is reached.

Writing is just like that. You have this elephant: your story and you go through the process of telling it in an engaging manner. Your goal is to get your reader to eat it -- one bite at a time; one word at a time. For me, that elephant is the story I'm telling in its entirety.

So, I start with an idea. I build that story on that one little, tiny idea. How? One bite at a time. But, you first have to thaw and marinate your elephant.

Thawing: For me, my stories play out like a movie in my head. I see the beginnning, the middle and/or the climax, then I see the end. Sometimes I see the end first and then I work my way backward. Sometimes I don't know how it will end, but I do have a general idea about where I want the story to go. Sometimes even that will change, but ultimately, I know I will finish my story. In other words, I will eat the elephant.

Seasoning and Marinating: First I write what I think is the whole story. This, in reality is really just an outline. Then I put that outline aside for a bit and muse about it. Sometimes I write notes down, sometimes I record voice notes, but mostly I do this all in my head -- where the story was born. This is when I name all my lead characters. I research names and their meanings and I try to choose names that will best suit my characters and their personalities. Sometimes I choose names just because I like they way they sound when I say them out loud.

I imagine scenarios and settings. I imagine what these people might wear, what they might look like, what their psychological make up is, what their backgrounds might be and how they may relate to others. Based on all of that, I work out how they might react under certain conditions. When I think the story has been properly seasoned and has marinated for a bit, I'm ready to cook and it goes into the oven. The heated pressure is on.

Cooking: I start out slow with lots of turns and lots of basting. The juices take a while to get going but once they get to bubbling, it's like a volcano beginning to rumble. It begins with a slow tremor deep inside waiting to burst like the juices of a sweet and tangy marinade just starting to reach it's boiling point. Slowly, it seeps through the the crevices of the meat of the elephant. I poke at the sections that are done and give it a little more heat. Twisting and turning it -- making sure that when poked, the juices flow evenly. Sometimes when I stab the meat, a shocker of juice spurts forward right in my eye, surprising me. I chuckle, blink and keep going. Damn it! Didn't see that coming! This happens quite a bit! I continue cooking at a steady pace and keep turning sometimes encountering sections that are a little raw. So, I turn up the heat a little bit then walk away and let it simmer.

Getting Ready for the Final Turn: It's almost done now so I go back and review, edit, revise then print the whole thing out. It'll take me a few days, but I run through the story out loud, beginning to end. Sometimes I record myself reading it and listen to it on the train so I can see how it flows; how it might read to someone other than me. I can't believe I wrote this! Really? Wow! As I listen, I'm taking notes. Once I'm done with this process, I go back and tweak it a little more -- or in cooking parlance - I poke the elephant a little bit and make sure it's not under or overcooked. This is the point at which I will share with my critiquing buddies. I trust they will be honest in critiquing my work. And once additional edits/revisions/more edits are done, I'll send it off to the proofreader/editor followed by more edits/revisions.

I'm not there yet, I'm still cooking. The point is this: I see a lot of tweets, and other postings about how many words are accomplished on any given day or are contained in a story. I was caught up in that at one point as well. What I realized is that it's not the number of words but the content of your story. If you have a story to tell and it is well told, the words are there. It's not something you need to keep track of. It takes A LOT of words to tell a good story and you shouldn't be worried about the numbers. Tell your story the only way you know how.

And that is by eating the elephant one bite at a time. I promise, you will find it very satisfying.

~ML

Robbi Sommers Bryant's Pink Diamond Interview and Guest Blog

Good morning people! Sinner here!

I hope you enjoyed my interview yesterday with Robbi.

Click here if you missed it ---> Robbi Sommers Bryant Pink Diamond Interview

Today Robbi was gracious enough to return and write a guest post on the criminal mind.

Click here for her fascinating post ---> Robbi Sommers Bryant on The Criminal Mind

Enjoy!

~~Sinner